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Presentation values can blow me.

Here are three beers that I found in the apartment that I moved into this week. Since there were exactly 3 unique beers, I felt it necessary to consume them and post about it. I also felt it necessary to dick around for a week or so before I posted them.

First up! Oland’s Schooner Ale (5% alc. by vol.)

Apparently, the can is about to go super-nova.

I used to drink these with my father and my uncle out in the middle of fucking nowhere. I cannot for the life of me think of a more generic beer to guzzle. It’s mildly bitter, and it’s without a sharpness. It smells a bit like you’re the second person to drink it if you catch my drift. But it’s cheap, and if you’re drinking this shit, you can ignore the taste.

Next in the fridge was St-Ambroise’s “Oatmeal Stout”  (5% alc. by vol.)

There is literally nothing clever that comes to my mind about this beer, so I've put it in the middle so as not to end on a low-note.

A heavier beer, this one hold true to it’s name. Smell is heavy, taste is distinct without relying on a high booze content. I enjoyed it quite a bit, but I would like to know if someone out there can reverse this product, and make me a stout bowl of boozy oatmeal.

Lastly. Red Stripe, from fuckin’ Jamaica or some shit. I don’t even. (4.7% alc. by vol.)

That smudge you see on the label is my blood. That'll ...sadly do nothing to teach me to open a bottle with a spoon.

Jamaican blondes are the sort of thing that generally only get searched for on sites like Redtube, but fuck it. It was free for me, so it’s good. It’s a little bit sweet and light compared to the other two. I’m just not sure it’s worth keeping a bottle opener handy. What can I say? I’m a sucker for pop-tops… and holding on to my recently improved CBC stat.

That’s blood, not newsnet, jackass.


Two guys, with a lot to say, and most of it involving swearing and in jokes. If you like it, or have something potentially constructive, by all means, comment. If you think we suck, we couldn’t give 2 shits.