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While I was walking home the other night, a thought occurred to me. And while I admit that this thought was primarily brought on by sleep deprivation and several other effects that the scientific community refers to as trippin’ balls, the fact remains that as I sit here sober the idea is still amusing. So, what the hell!? Isn’t that the test?

In a criminal drama, there’s always that moment when the investigating team finds a small clue, but the resultant information gathered far outweighs what would be reasonable to deduce. What I mean is that they come up with an entire plot’s worth of leads out of a single hint in a way that looks pretty ridiculous when you pull back for a moment. But maybe I’m over-thinking it, I’ll just demonstrate this idea.

Say the clue is a photograph for an example. Say it’s my photograph for a more specific example.

This sentence doesn't have any hidden clues, but you feel better about finding it anyway.

Say it's this photograph for the most specific example.

Now, I’m not saying that my keys have been in a crime scene, but I am saying that the breakdown of the “facts” would work something like this.

1. We know that the subject doesn’t own a vehicle, because all three keys are residential in cut. Ergo, he walks whenever he leaves his house, which we’re guessing is not very often based on the fact that he hasn’t gotten a new lanyard for his keys in over four years.
2. We know the age of the subject’s lanyard because we ran a search on the address printed, and it lead us to St.FX’s site. However, recently they stopped issuing them to residents, because of the tendency for them to catch on buildings, furniture, etc.
3. We know that the subject holds on to the past more than a healthy individually because he hasn’t been an attendant at that university, nor has he lived in that county in over two years. He’s also underhanded because the cut of the Weiser brand key matches those used in dormitories on St.FX’s upper campus. (The lower campus uses card key’s because they were more recently renovated.) The fact that he still holds on to it means that he decided not to return that key in case it’s ever profitable to return to that building later.
4. The largest key on the rings is an Ilco brand key. They make colourful keys of animals, scenery, cartoons… you know, that sort of thing… and he’s using one with a cat on it. The fact that there’s no identifiable marks on it suggests that he doesn’t own a cat at all. That, and the lack of cat hair on any of the personal effects we picked up probably indicates that he’s allergic to cats. Which means he’s compensating for it by using an image of a cat for his building key.
5. The third key is a Curtis brand, smaller, and more generic than the others. It’s his apartment key. I’m willing to bet that the subject picked a less personal key either because he deems his own personal residence less important than the collective nature of the building, or it’s a holdover from a childhood where he was raised by fairly authoritarian-socialist parents who prioritized the many over an individual.
6. Lastly, we found the camera with his fingerprints on it and examined the exif data. We know that he has way too much time on his hands, because he took this picture. He wanted us to follow him.

Q.E.D.

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