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Monthly Archives: January 2010

*Normally I’d say fuck explanation, but this is just too goddamned nuts. No, I wasn’t on drugs, but I’d had nearly no sleep, and been very drunk, and then spent a day wired against reason. So yeah.*

This is total madness. If you had asked me what insanity was like before this moment, I wouldn’t have been sure. But now I know.

I have every reason to be having the worse day ever. I had golden, sky touching plans, that came crashing down. I had my age in liquid ounces of alcohol, and 3 hours sleep. And I have never felt so wonderfully energetic.

Total fucking madness.

I used to get a rush like this occasions, when I’d spent several days drunk, sleep deprived, and miserable. Didn’t make any goddamn sense then, either.

I just don’t even know what to say. This is madness. I’m in constant motion, just in case it fades. My leg is bouncing like I’m activating Gear Second. Nothing about this makes any sense.

I feel fucking wonderful.

I don’t care that my marks are mediocre, or that I’m so horny I could have sex for days. I feel like I should stay inside because my mere presence might cause women to orgasm. I just don’t know what to do with this. Its completely insane

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Hello, you decaying organic matter. Nah, forget that. It’s been too publicized and commercialized. I don’t want to be know for quoting a movie. But then again, I don’t know what I want to be known for yet. Or even if I want to be known.

Wow, my writing sucks.

That’s okay. I’m okay with that. Writing an article has usually been a big deal in the past. Primarily because I was afraid of putting down a rambling sentence, or another broken thought process. Fuck it. Why would I care if it’s bad quality, as long as it’s coming from my honest mind.

Some people would say heart there. That’s too fancy-schmacy for me. My writing should be thought about, but it doesn’t need to be lavished in emotional baggage like a disposable soap-opera script.

It should be disposable because it’s coming from a person.

These thoughts that I write to you readers are disposable. They’re just snippets from a guy whose mind either likes, or doesn’t like what he’s thinking about, but he cares enough to share them with you.

So, it’s about caring enough to speak to people. Even if you don’t know what you’re trying to say. It’s about not worrying if your goddamn syntax errors end up with the audience just as confused and disillusioned as you are.

It’s about time that we just spoke the truth once more. But this is more than just any truth. I could tell you about the shit I got up to take when I hit the part about soap-operas, but that’s not important.

What truths there are, that are important to me will be written. No more, no less. And I’m willing to bet that you’ll like it.